Ok... So, the blog didn't quite happen twice in a week AND thats exactly why I said I would TRY. If I nailed it the first week, I would have nothing to strive for. It's all part of the plan:)
I have so many thoughts on this crazy ass world that we are living in. I mean, I've been earth side for 40 years and never ever seen or experienced anything like this. It legit feels like insanity. I'm navigating it pretty well now but there were some dicey moments for me when the world was shut down. For someone who needs to feel in some sort of control of her life and that literally being taken away- it was a lot. I know that probably everyone feels that do some degree.
I can't help but feel bad for my kids (and yours.) I never in my wildest dreams thought my children would be masked to go to school. Regardless of your stance on anything- this is abnormal and bizarre. Looking at people's faces and see expressions is where the human connection begins. There is no doubt in my mind that connections have been lost. As if navigating the never-ending national pandemic wasn't enough- now we have added MORE gun violence to the mix. Instead of the kids having school canceled for the Snow Days they all dream and wish for- we are canceling school so that threats can be investigated, and students and staff can regroup.
Let me give you an example of my daughter's week. First, she is exposed to Covid even though she covers her face with a mask every day. As a result, she has to be swabbed every day for 3 days to even attend school. Next, she is named a witness to "information of interest" and has to give a statement TO THE POLICE. She did not want to be a witness. She did not raise her hand to volunteer information because she did not want to be involved but was NAMED a witness because she happened to be assigned a seat next to the child. This is all in addition to the fact that I had to pick her up from school early the day after the shootings because social media scared the living daylights out of her and she was terrified. You guys, she is 12. And a middle schooler. WHAT IS THIS LIFE??? I'm positive you all are experiencing similar scenarios. And, its not OK.
The Oxford shooting is the most devastating tragedy to happen this close to our home that I have witnessed. The students in our school knew these students. Played sports with these kids and were in their homes. The news gave a lot of detailed information, but it did not compare to what the kids actually knew, saw and heard via text messages from actual victims and family members. These kids were so afraid and legitimately so. Such a horrific tragedy. I've put myself in those parents shoes receiving that phone call and it makes me physically ill.
It's absolutely no wonder that I have had more people reach out to me for help in the last month than ever before. Life was hard before when it was "normal" and this is not normal. I am refusing to accept this a "new norm." Hell no.
Mental health is so important and very hard to navigate. I have a lot of people coming to me so unsure of what they are actually struggling with. Anxiety, depression, OCD, etc. I want to kind of explain something I learned about myself that may be helpful to dissect what can happen. This is not for everyone but was for me. My core issue is Anxiety. Anxiety is the number one "energy wasting" entitity. It is exhausting. It can cause people to be very obsessive. That obsessiveness can turn into OCD behaviors. Eventually you run out of energy from being so anxious and obsessing. This turns to exhaustion which leads you into depression. Too exhausted and upset to function. Once you sit in that state for a while, you get anxious about not getting things done. And.... there we go. It all happens again. A vicious cycle that you cannot break. A lot of times what is wrong with us... is all of it, Between the crazy state of the world, the violence added in and sprinkle in the "my life is perfect social media posts" and we are all doomed. It is a lot. And, it is ok that you feel thar.
Christmas is a super fun season but also stressful and hard for people for many reasons. Some are moving through with the loss of loved ones. Others are at a financial hardship and worried about making their family happy. Some don't love to spend time with family as they are triggers for emotional distress. PLEASE slow down and be aware that things are not easy for so many. Be KIND for gods sake!
If you are stuggling emotionally or mentally- please don't ignore it. It is not selfish to want to feel better. When you are in a good place, you have more to offer everyone in your life. You cannot pour from an empty cup. There is nothing to be ashamed of and I promise the other side is worth the walk through the fire.