Intention...and reality!

I like words.  I always have.  I'm the kind of person that really pays attention to the meanings of words and what people say.  Every now and then I get hooked on a new word and it becomes my favorite.  For a long time, that word was: gratitude.  That is still one of my favorites and holds such deep meaning in my heart.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of the meaning and try to express my gratitude to not only people but to God for answering prayers in the darkest of hours.  Lately, I have a new favorite.  Intention:  the determination to act a certain way.  The word came up a few times in the last couple of months and always made me pause.  The first one to say it was, the one and only, Oprah!  (We all know how I feel about her.) She started every idea meeting for a show asking the producers what the intention was.  What was the goal?  Why this topic?  When forced to answer the questions of intention- you are really finding the reason or value behind whatever it is.  The next place I kept hearing it was at my yoga studio.  Each practice begins with deciding the intention for the hour.  To achieve new levels of fitness?  To just clear the space in your head for an hour of peace?  Whatever it is has value to the person making the decision.  I like it.  The last few weeks I have found myself looking for the intention of what I am doing regardless of what it is.  It can range from how I want to take care of myself, how I spend time with my kids, what I want for my life in general.  It is changing my thinking for the better.  Forcing me to slow down and think things through and to move with a purpose.  Try it.  You may just like it;)


That being said, let me share a story with you about my reality.  I emailed this to a couple of friends about two weeks ago after a crazy morning.  My INTENTION didn't really pan out here...  but sometimes it really does:)

So, because I am nuts, I pack up all three kids to head to target. I get the two older ones buckled in only to go back for Easton and realize my husband took the car seat with him to work in Lansing. Imagine my delight. I called my Mom and had her leave work to bring me hers. I've never installed a car seat in my life but looked up the manual online and got that sucker in! High-five! As you can tell, I am already off to a rough start but I saw on Good Morning America that Missoni had just released a line for Target and a girl like me is not going to miss a Missoni launch no matter what. We finally get to Target and all of the Women's clothes are sold out. Go figure. Moving on to housewares- also sold out. Just as I was about to get really angry I walk past the sweetest Missoni coat for Miss Paige with matching hat and mittens. Score! Next I find some adorable shoes for her. That girl is so lucky and she doesn't even know it. Meanwhile, my kids are acting like animals. They are wrestling, yelling, taking turns running around. I have just about had it when I see there are boots and shoes for women still left. As I am trying on my shoes, the kids go nuts. I swear to you I threatened everything I could think of and they still would not behave. I think Paige's goal was to dismantle the entire shoe aisle and she was damn near close. I had to throw her in the cart and go check out. Without my shoes. Let's just say these kids are not going to have a very fun afternoon. I even drove thru McDonalds on my way home for a Diet Coke and wouldn't get them apple dippers (gasp!) You would have thought I threw away their favorite toy.

Targeting with them may have to stop for awhile. I finally may have had enough.... Except for Easton. Easton LOVES to shop. He's my favorite today:)

Life at the Clarks is still pretty crazy.  Sometimes I think things have settled into a routine and then about five minutes later I change my mind and think it is just chaos!  People tell me that having three little kids means that its not going to calm down for several years.  I'm starting to believe them.  I'm back to work, Carter started football, Paige started dance, Easton is back to refusing to take bottles, Matt's never ending golf league finally actually ended,  the dog still tries to make me crazy, and nobody sleeps at night!  Woo hoo!  As tired as I am or as overwhelming as it can seem- not a day goes by that I am not reminded of how lucky I am.  It only takes one sweet comment or someone needing a hug or a little sly smile to stop me in my tracks and I know that this is exactly what I want out of life.  At least the chaos spares me boredom!

His Mama thinks he is such a stud.

Ballerina Girl.  Ha!

Gotta love a Wal-Mart parking lot.

What a brave boy letting his sister rock him.

We made it.

I think we made it.  It was one year ago this month that I became pregnant with Easton and we had no idea how our lives were about to change.  Finding out you are pregnant with your third baby is exciting but you also have a sense of knowing what is to come.  You've been there before, not just once but twice.  You know the drill.  From the get-go, this was one was different.  For starters, we didn't even have to "try" to get pregnant like in the past so we just figured this baby just really wanted to be here.  Well, thats what we thought once we finally confirmed the pregnancy.  Two positive preganancy tests and two negative tests in the same day was a little odd annoying.  I'm not much for waiting but of course I had to wait a week to go get a blood test to have the levels be really low and in turn wait another week to repeat.  Awesome start!  I knew I would have to do bed rest with this pregnancy because I had with the other two as well.  Matt and I were both OK with it because it was just what it took for us to have a family.  Everybody has their struggles and this was ours but worth it in the end.  Never in a million years did I think I would start contracting at 19 weeks!  Thats not even a viable point and not even half way thru the pregnancy.  It was January 15 and I was due June 15... it seemed impossible.  But it wasn't.  We did it.  I did my part by following doctors orders and did a pretty good job not going insane and keeping my spirits up while Super Dad took excellent care of the kids, me, and the house.  After all the ups and downs, scary days and hospitalizations- we finally hit the 36 week mark and knew we had succeeded.  The madness was over and life would hit a new norm.  WRONG!  The labor and delivery was perfect and quick.  I never broke a sweat and still had makeup on and my hair looked (relatively) good for the post delivery pictures which is obviously critical.  Pictures last forever...

Clearly, we had no idea that the whole pregnancy was actually cake in comparison to what we were about to endure.  You've all read the story and followed his journey and I continue to be forever grateful for all of the support.  As his Mom, I'm not over it yet.  It's not old news to me.  I continue to lose sleep and be haunted by the experience on a daily basis.  I can't look at him and not think about what he has been through.  All children are special- I believe that.  I love Carter and Paige with my whole heart and being.  They are my babies and they were meant for me and I was meant for them.  Easton feels a little different.  At the risk of sounding crazy (which I may be,) I think he was sent from above for a reason.  He is here to make a difference.  I just cannot imagine that he survived his first month of life without a purpose.  I cannot wait to follow him through life and see just what he has to offer.  Trust me- he is going places.


When I say "we made it," I really think the worst is over.  I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel for so long.  Once he came home from the hospital we were always scared.  Worried if he was OK.  It didn't help the adjustment that he screamed all the time, couldn't eat or gain weight, and didn't sleep a wink!  It's so different now.  He still isn't the greatest eater and he doesn't sleep thru the night but he is happy.  He has a smile for just about everyone and he melts my heart every time he looks me in the eye.  He is gaining weight and so much more content.  In fact, he is a great baby.  I'm not delusional and I do anticipate a rough winter because he does live with Paige- and she has yet to make it a winter without RSV and breathing treatments.  I hope and pray everyday that his lungs are greatly improved and he will tolerate sickness better than the last time.  The biggest difference is that we aren't living in fear.  We are enjoying him and I think that has to mean that we made it.

Our fighter

Scary Days

Miracle Man

Happy Days

Thank you God, for giving me this little boy.






Disney World post coming soon...