God's Presence

I was asked by our Pastor to write a 600 word essay for the Advent Devotional Book about a time when I felt God's presence.  I think we all know when that was.  Here is the essay:

My third son, Easton Edward Clark, was born on May 18, 2011.  Shortly after he was born, he had difficulty breathing and was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  We had no idea how that admission would change our lives forever.  Easton’s condition rapidly deteriorated within 48 hours.  He went from a non critical diagnosis of “wet lungs” to a life threatening condition overnight.  He had Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension in Newborns (PPHN.)  This condition is not very common- only about 1 in 1,000 and has a high mortality rate.  My little boy looked more like a science experiment than a newborn baby.  He had IV’s, central lines, a feeding tube, was on a ventilator, had a chest tube, a pic line, and other monitors all in an attempt to save his little life.  His six pound body looked lifeless as his Dad and I stood vigil next to his incubator.  Looking at him, I knew there was no way he could recover from the severity of his illness.  Each day the results of his tests got worse and my hope dwindled.  I even started thinking of funeral homes and what I would bury him in.  The absolute worse thoughts you can have as a mother. The doctors were doing their best but told us we needed to pray.  These highly skilled doctors were humble enough to tell us that his fate wasn’t in their hands but in God’s hands.  And pray we did.  My first call was to Pastor Jeremy to help us.  We were desperate and I felt we needed a closer connection to God.  He graciously came to pray with us at Easton’s bedside.  It was in that moment that I first felt like God was watching.  The air in the room felt a little lighter.  In that brief moment of a glimmer of hope, I took that opportunity to change my action.  Instead of planning a funeral, I talked to God. All day.  I stood by the window and looked at the sky and prayed for my baby.  I stood next to the incubator looking at a baby I wasn’t able to touch and prayed for my baby.  In the next couple of weeks when we would almost lose him and were forced to helplessly stand by and watch doctors work so hard on him, I prayed for my baby.  I prayed for God to guide the doctors in the right direction and to give everyone the skills to take care of him. I even begged God to save my baby.  These days were dark.  They were paralyzing but I know in my heart that when I spoke to God,  he heard me.  The air would again get lighter.  I could feel him and I knew I needed to keep talking. We reached out to everyone we knew and asked for prayers for our son and guess what?  God proved he was with us and started answering them. Blood tests would improve, the ventilation settings were lowered, he was even allowed to wake up.  There were so many setbacks and bumps in the road but I know how sick Easton was and I also know that the only reason that baby is alive today is because God saved him.  He was on the brink of death too many times to end up perfectly well without some kind of divine intervention.  We thank you God, for hearing our prayers.

We are so grateful to have Easton in our family and we will do everything in our power as parents to care for him and help him to lead a purposeful life.  He will always know the meaning of gratitude and the importance of God everlasting.

Intention...and reality!

I like words.  I always have.  I'm the kind of person that really pays attention to the meanings of words and what people say.  Every now and then I get hooked on a new word and it becomes my favorite.  For a long time, that word was: gratitude.  That is still one of my favorites and holds such deep meaning in my heart.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of the meaning and try to express my gratitude to not only people but to God for answering prayers in the darkest of hours.  Lately, I have a new favorite.  Intention:  the determination to act a certain way.  The word came up a few times in the last couple of months and always made me pause.  The first one to say it was, the one and only, Oprah!  (We all know how I feel about her.) She started every idea meeting for a show asking the producers what the intention was.  What was the goal?  Why this topic?  When forced to answer the questions of intention- you are really finding the reason or value behind whatever it is.  The next place I kept hearing it was at my yoga studio.  Each practice begins with deciding the intention for the hour.  To achieve new levels of fitness?  To just clear the space in your head for an hour of peace?  Whatever it is has value to the person making the decision.  I like it.  The last few weeks I have found myself looking for the intention of what I am doing regardless of what it is.  It can range from how I want to take care of myself, how I spend time with my kids, what I want for my life in general.  It is changing my thinking for the better.  Forcing me to slow down and think things through and to move with a purpose.  Try it.  You may just like it;)


That being said, let me share a story with you about my reality.  I emailed this to a couple of friends about two weeks ago after a crazy morning.  My INTENTION didn't really pan out here...  but sometimes it really does:)

So, because I am nuts, I pack up all three kids to head to target. I get the two older ones buckled in only to go back for Easton and realize my husband took the car seat with him to work in Lansing. Imagine my delight. I called my Mom and had her leave work to bring me hers. I've never installed a car seat in my life but looked up the manual online and got that sucker in! High-five! As you can tell, I am already off to a rough start but I saw on Good Morning America that Missoni had just released a line for Target and a girl like me is not going to miss a Missoni launch no matter what. We finally get to Target and all of the Women's clothes are sold out. Go figure. Moving on to housewares- also sold out. Just as I was about to get really angry I walk past the sweetest Missoni coat for Miss Paige with matching hat and mittens. Score! Next I find some adorable shoes for her. That girl is so lucky and she doesn't even know it. Meanwhile, my kids are acting like animals. They are wrestling, yelling, taking turns running around. I have just about had it when I see there are boots and shoes for women still left. As I am trying on my shoes, the kids go nuts. I swear to you I threatened everything I could think of and they still would not behave. I think Paige's goal was to dismantle the entire shoe aisle and she was damn near close. I had to throw her in the cart and go check out. Without my shoes. Let's just say these kids are not going to have a very fun afternoon. I even drove thru McDonalds on my way home for a Diet Coke and wouldn't get them apple dippers (gasp!) You would have thought I threw away their favorite toy.

Targeting with them may have to stop for awhile. I finally may have had enough.... Except for Easton. Easton LOVES to shop. He's my favorite today:)

Life at the Clarks is still pretty crazy.  Sometimes I think things have settled into a routine and then about five minutes later I change my mind and think it is just chaos!  People tell me that having three little kids means that its not going to calm down for several years.  I'm starting to believe them.  I'm back to work, Carter started football, Paige started dance, Easton is back to refusing to take bottles, Matt's never ending golf league finally actually ended,  the dog still tries to make me crazy, and nobody sleeps at night!  Woo hoo!  As tired as I am or as overwhelming as it can seem- not a day goes by that I am not reminded of how lucky I am.  It only takes one sweet comment or someone needing a hug or a little sly smile to stop me in my tracks and I know that this is exactly what I want out of life.  At least the chaos spares me boredom!

His Mama thinks he is such a stud.

Ballerina Girl.  Ha!

Gotta love a Wal-Mart parking lot.

What a brave boy letting his sister rock him.

We made it.

I think we made it.  It was one year ago this month that I became pregnant with Easton and we had no idea how our lives were about to change.  Finding out you are pregnant with your third baby is exciting but you also have a sense of knowing what is to come.  You've been there before, not just once but twice.  You know the drill.  From the get-go, this was one was different.  For starters, we didn't even have to "try" to get pregnant like in the past so we just figured this baby just really wanted to be here.  Well, thats what we thought once we finally confirmed the pregnancy.  Two positive preganancy tests and two negative tests in the same day was a little odd annoying.  I'm not much for waiting but of course I had to wait a week to go get a blood test to have the levels be really low and in turn wait another week to repeat.  Awesome start!  I knew I would have to do bed rest with this pregnancy because I had with the other two as well.  Matt and I were both OK with it because it was just what it took for us to have a family.  Everybody has their struggles and this was ours but worth it in the end.  Never in a million years did I think I would start contracting at 19 weeks!  Thats not even a viable point and not even half way thru the pregnancy.  It was January 15 and I was due June 15... it seemed impossible.  But it wasn't.  We did it.  I did my part by following doctors orders and did a pretty good job not going insane and keeping my spirits up while Super Dad took excellent care of the kids, me, and the house.  After all the ups and downs, scary days and hospitalizations- we finally hit the 36 week mark and knew we had succeeded.  The madness was over and life would hit a new norm.  WRONG!  The labor and delivery was perfect and quick.  I never broke a sweat and still had makeup on and my hair looked (relatively) good for the post delivery pictures which is obviously critical.  Pictures last forever...

Clearly, we had no idea that the whole pregnancy was actually cake in comparison to what we were about to endure.  You've all read the story and followed his journey and I continue to be forever grateful for all of the support.  As his Mom, I'm not over it yet.  It's not old news to me.  I continue to lose sleep and be haunted by the experience on a daily basis.  I can't look at him and not think about what he has been through.  All children are special- I believe that.  I love Carter and Paige with my whole heart and being.  They are my babies and they were meant for me and I was meant for them.  Easton feels a little different.  At the risk of sounding crazy (which I may be,) I think he was sent from above for a reason.  He is here to make a difference.  I just cannot imagine that he survived his first month of life without a purpose.  I cannot wait to follow him through life and see just what he has to offer.  Trust me- he is going places.


When I say "we made it," I really think the worst is over.  I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel for so long.  Once he came home from the hospital we were always scared.  Worried if he was OK.  It didn't help the adjustment that he screamed all the time, couldn't eat or gain weight, and didn't sleep a wink!  It's so different now.  He still isn't the greatest eater and he doesn't sleep thru the night but he is happy.  He has a smile for just about everyone and he melts my heart every time he looks me in the eye.  He is gaining weight and so much more content.  In fact, he is a great baby.  I'm not delusional and I do anticipate a rough winter because he does live with Paige- and she has yet to make it a winter without RSV and breathing treatments.  I hope and pray everyday that his lungs are greatly improved and he will tolerate sickness better than the last time.  The biggest difference is that we aren't living in fear.  We are enjoying him and I think that has to mean that we made it.

Our fighter

Scary Days

Miracle Man

Happy Days

Thank you God, for giving me this little boy.






Disney World post coming soon... 

Normalizing.

Miss Paige Ruby

No cavities!

Things in the Clark house are normalizing.  It's a new normal.  It's chaotic, loud, fun, loud, busy, exhausting, hilarious, loud, exciting and loud.  Three kids in four years is humorous.  If you don't stop and laugh then you will go nuts!  I feel like everywhere I go people are laughing at me so I've decided to join them!  Let me give you a little example of what I'm talking about.  Yesterday I took the kids to Target.  I could just sit home all day but I choose to get out there in the real world and see what kind of trouble I can get myself into.  Anyways, Target.  I love Target.  Everybody knows this about me but let me just admit right here and now that I love Target a whole lot less with three kids in tow.  Here is a visual:  Easton in the  back of the cart, Paige strapped in the front to prevent her from jumping out, Carter supposed to be holding on to the cart or riding on the back.  Oh, No.  While I was looking for a tank top Carter took the liberty of hiding in all the clothes racks and cracking himself (and Paige) up.  Obviously we quickly vacated that section.  There were many other little episodes including a trip to the bathroom (of course!) and we ended with one package of gumballs scattered across three check out lines!  Ahh... all in a days work:)  This my friends, is what dreams are made of.  Truly.  All my life I would think about myself at the age of 30.  It's kind of a monumental age and I always just wondered where I'd be, who I'd be with and what I would be doing.  I can honestly say that this is exactly what I had in mind.  I'm a lucky girl.


Up next, Disney World!  Yes, we are crazy.  We get a little bit of normalcy and routine in our life and we like to see what we can do to rock the boat.  The two big kids are thrilled and counting down how many "sleeps" until we leave.  I can't wait to see their faces.  Look out Florida, the Clark's are coming.  Us and Hurricane Irene.  I'm not sure which is scarier for that state.  Should be crazy fun.  These are memories of a lifetime and I cannot wait for it.  I can however wait to fly with Paige...that should be an adventure all on its own.  Love that girl.  Giddy up!

2 years ago.

Here is the big news...Mama's going back to work!  I have been off since January 15.  Yup, that long.  Pregnancy and babies are no joke over here.  I'm actually ready.  I think.  I give all the credit in the world to stay at home Mom's.  It's hard!  I like to work.  I like having a purpose outside my home.  I know I am needed there and love being home but I also like to be out of the house.  I'm going back three days a week so I still feel like I will have plenty of time at home as well.  The weird part is going to be leaving Easton.  I've never had to leave a baby because they always get to come with me.  How ironic that I end up with a baby that can't go to daycare!  The doctors recommended that he stay out for 6 months to a year to give his body plenty of time to heal.  I'm never away from him but at least I know I will only be 5 minutes away and will have lunch with him each day.  We can do this.  


Gratitude, once again.  You know my favorite word.  I'm still overwhelmed with the outpouring of support from people in our lives.  This past week I received an awesome gift from girls I went to college with.  Many of them I have very little contact with except through Facebook.  I can't tell you what it means to me to know there are people out there pulling for us and wishing us well.  Thank you, girls!  I promise to pay it forward.  People like you- push me to be a better person.  Forever grateful.

Lovin' Tummy Time.

Easton update:  He is Super Baby!  He finally hit 10 pounds at 13.5 weeks.  He eats pretty well (most of the time) and refuses to sleep thru the night.  He is super smiley and he loves to look around and check out the world.  I still can't get the images of him so sick out of my mind but at least I have images of his smiling face to go along with them.  Everyday I thank my lucky stars for all the people that took care of him.  God Bless the Hurley NICU doctors and nurses.  We love them all!

For the Mommies...

This post is for the Mommies of little ones.  I said this blog would be about what was happening in my life and THIS is happening in my life.  I know many people wont relate but just as many will.  This issue of breast feeding has been bugging me lately.


To breast feed or not? What the heck is with this stigma attached to breast feeding these days?  Four years ago when I had Carter, I chose to nurse him because I wanted the bonding experience and I felt it was best for him.  Same with Paige.  That was it.  I wasn't aware of any stigma about it and I never really even considered anybody else's feelings about it.  My kid, my body, my milk, my business.  Right?  Wrong!  Lately it seems like people raise an eyebrow if you don't breast feed your baby.  Wait- lets back up.  Why is one of the first questions out of peoples mouths when you have a baby, "Are you nursing?"  How does this affect anyone else's life except to pass judgement?  You cannot tell me that some of my friends who use formula love their kids less than I love mine.  I just don't buy into that.  I also don't think that they want less for their kids than I do.  It's a personal choice shaped by many reasons and situations.  If you have read my blog before- you know I am an open book.  I will tell you just about anything because I don't believe in hiding your experiences.  In fact, I think its beneficial.  Here is my situation and why this topic is prevalent.  I'm not a new Mom.  Easton is my third baby and also the third baby I have chose to breast feed.  This situation is so different this time.  For one, Easton wasn't fed any milk until he was almost 3 weeks old because he was so sick which meant I just had to pump around the clock to even keep my milk coming.  All you Mom's who pump know what a joy that was!  Now we are home and he isn't a great eater.  It is a major struggle.  He isn't great at the bottle and I'm not able to nurse him at all anymore because it is too much effort and he won't take more than an ounce from me before falling asleep.  I figured this out the hard way by taking him to the doctor and finding he wasn't gaining any weight.  He is still very small for his age and gaining as.slow.as.a.snail!  (He weighs at 12 weeks what my other two weighed at 4 weeks.)  That said, I have to pump every meal.  Might not seem like a big deal but in my world it is.  I have Paige.  Paige enjoys taking off her clothes and going outside while I pump.  She also enjoys dumping cereal on the floor or demanding she's "firsty" the moment I sit down.  I can't exactly stop pumping once I start to re-dress her, get her a drink and clean up the cereal.  This causes chaos with Carter.  He tries to do these things for me and the next thing I know I have two fighting kids and a screaming/hungry baby all while I'm trying to take the 10 minutes to pump then next bottle.  I'm exhausted just thinking about this and it happens...5 times a day:)  Then there is the car pumping.  No, I don't pump and drive- although I have considered it. I like to pump while Matt drives because it's a time saver.  We have to be in the car and that is useless time so I might as well make it useful and make a bottle.  Matt thinks this is nuts.  He is getting better about it now but still looks at me like I may have lost my mind!  The next issue is that I am pretty thin from all the stress and could probably benefit from not giving him all my calories...which doesn't seem to be bulking him up anyway!  Then there is the immunity factor.  Easton needs the antibodies from me to help him fight off infection and stay healthy.  Umm- being strictly breast fed he still ended up in the hospital from a virus nobody I even know had.  My antibodies apparently suck.  Are you getting my point?  It's that there are circumstances in people life that shape their decision.  Please don't judge them.  Being a Mom is hard enough- we all do our best and don't need anybody else's opinion (unless asked) to make it more difficult.


As for me, I am still nursing pumping and bottle feeding all but one feeding a day which I supplement with a high calorie, high protein formula to help plump him up.  However,  I'm thinking about stopping (gasp!)  I have 150 bags of frozen milk to use up and then I plan to switch to only NeoSure which is the formula recommended for him.  I may stop tomorrow, next week, next month, or in 9 months.  The guilt I have about stopping is my own issue.  Fortunately I am pretty confident in my parenting decisions and will ultimately do what I feel is best for my family and myself.  Some people have a harder time or are less secure in their decisions so lets all cut a little slack and try to give new Mom's a break!  Lets support what is best for each person as opposed to what society THINKS is best.  


For the record:  I 100% encourage breast feeding but I also support formula...with no judgement!


Moving on...  Life at the Clark's is still nuts.  It's getting easier all the time but its still nuts.  Sleep is super rare in this house.  Easton has no consistency.  Two nights ago he got up once and last night four times.  No rhyme or reason.  It's just Easton and we all know by now that Easton marches to his own drum!  So last night...Easton got up four times then Paige wakes up crying and comes in my bed.  The crying woke up Carter so he came in.  Pretty awesome night getting up 6 times in my whole 7 hours of being in bed!  Matt tried to tell me that one day I will look back and wish I was still getting up with babies.  Matt is wrong.  There are a lot of things I will miss about these times but never in a million years will it be giving up my beauty sleep!  

All Clean!

Shaving Cream Fun at School

Paige is the cutest thing I have ever seen.  She is also the sassiest.  I want to punish her and I do put her in timeout but I gotta admit- I like her style.  A little sweet, a lot of sass, a bit innocent and enough guts to stand up for herself at all times.  She is talking like crazy and likes to tell jokes.  Unfortunately, her punch line is always "Betause."  She may need some new jokes but her delivery will make you smile anyway.


Carter is growing up.  Its sad.  He likes to say things to me like, "You know I will be 14 one day, right?"  Really?  No doubt.  He knows how to rub it in.  Even though he is the oldest and can be rather moody, I think he is the sweetest.  He loves me so much.  I can't get enough of that and all the sweet things he says.  For example, "Mom, you look like an angel today."  Love him!


Easton is actually doing pretty good.  Besides the whole hating to eat issue- he has been so much better.  He is acting like a real baby.  Finally.  He loves to lay on the floor and kick and cannot get enough of looking at himself in the mirror.  He knows he has got the looks and he has no issue admiring himself.  He is growing slowly but at least he is growing.  He seems more comfortable lately and I just love him to pieces.  He also has the smile down pat!

Lazy Day

12 weeks, baby.

"Healthy Baby"

This post is just to clear my head.  Its more of a journal entry than anything else.  I'm so exhausted and filled with concern that I can't even think straight.  Hopefully spilling it all here will give my mind a break.


You know that phrase when a pregnant woman gives the correct answer in response to the common question of which gender of baby she prefers, and she answers, "I don't care as long as the baby is healthy."  I gave that answer.  I made sure not to be too greedy and to really be able to accept either a boy or a girl with a happy heart.  I actually meant it.  How about this?  How about if your baby isn't healthy?  Then what?  Then that whole saying isn't really adequate, is it?  What if your baby comes out and can't breathe or has a crappy set of lungs- those super important organs necessary to breathe which in turn are necessary to live.  What if you have to watch your baby struggle every.single.day for a month in the hospital not knowing for a couple weeks if he will even live?  I guess that makes that question about gender a bit less important.  Maybe we should be asking tougher questions.


My heart could quite possible explode from the love I have for this child.  Never in my life did I dream I would have a baby that wasn't "perfectly healthy."  The perfect part he has nailed down, the healthy part we are still working on.  I cannot believe I was naive enough to just assume that my baby would be healthy.  Maybe it was arrogance assuming those things wouldn't happen to me.  Whatever it was, it was wrong.


I would like to just be able to get over this whole experience.   Move on. Thank God that its over...which I do.  The only problem is that it doesn't really feel over yet.  Yes, I am confident he will live and I will be forever grateful for that because not only do I love him, I need him.  He is part of my soul and I wouldn't be complete without him.  Here is the problem, he struggles.  It's hard to watch.  He doesn't always breathe normally.  He breaths way too fast- almost panting at times.  His chest rises and contracts too far and he doesn't always look comfortable. I am used to this and actually pretty immune to it.  It's always brought to my attention when someone else holds him and it reminds me that he isn't like my other babies.  That his normal isn't really all that normal.  Last week reminded  slapped me in the face.  Easton got sick.  He caught a viral infection (clearly a stomach bug) that nobody I know has.  I should add that this kid is pretty sheltered.  Very few people get to touch him and he isn't around all that many people- WAY less than my other babies were. Anyways, this shouldn't be a big deal.  Happens to everyone.  Well, it was a big deal.  He got dehydrated enough in 12 hours to spend 3 days in the hospital.  His breathing was extremely fast and labored.  His coloring was terrible and he even turned totally white on me twice.  Really?  For a stomach bug.  Is this really how his body is going to respond when he gets sick?  Is this going to happen every time a germ blows by him?  If so, this is a long road.  My heart hurts for him.  It's no wonder he isn't the happiest baby on the block- his life isn't easy.  Thats the other hard part.  I spend all my time trying to make his world a better place.  I try so hard to make him smile, make him comfortable, make him feel the love.  I'm just not sure I am getting through to him yet.  I won't give up, I'm pretty persistent.  He'll get there.  He has no choice.


  My emotions change on how I feel about the situation.  Sometimes I am mad that this happened to my family.  I feel like I got screwed out of the first month of my sons life.  Sometimes I am sad.  So sad that he went thru so much and I am not even sure how much he felt, how much pain he was in or if he was scared.  Sometimes I'm grateful.  Grateful that I have this experience to change me into a better person.  There is only one thing that doesn't change and its that I know Easton was meant for me.  I know I'm supposed to walk thru this with him.  I know I'm supposed to help him and protect him and make him smile.  I'm supposed to make sure he is OK.  Lately, its feeling like a lot of pressure.  Like the whole world is on my shoulders.  I'm usually pretty level headed and can handle the pressure.  I'm not gonna lie,  I feel a little scared. Maybe a little out of my league.  It's funny I feel that way now that we are on the mend.  Well, thats what they say.  They say we are recovering.  You know, out of the woods.  I still feel a little in the woods.  Maybe I am paranoid.  Wouldn't you be?  The image of them intubating my son, the image of them bagging him as he lay limp, the image of his body so swollen from the medications, they are clear as day in my mind.  Why won't they go away?  It's over so they should leave, right?  Hopefully, soon.  Even if they are always there- maybe they could be a little less vivid.  I think part of the overwhelming feeling is trying to find time in the day to meet the needs of my two and four year olds as well.  They are so good and so patient with me.  Its like they get it.  They know Easton needs a little more.  It doesn't mean they like it but most of the time, they cut me some major slack.  I wish it weren't that way.  I wish all three could get their needs met at once but thats just not going to happen right now.


This is the life we chose. We chose a life with three young kids.  We always said we would love and accept whatever God gave us- and we do.  A lot.  Easton should improve dramatically over the next six months to a year and with that the fear should lessen and more normal chaos should ensue.  I look forward to the day we all breathe a little easier- no pun intended.

The truth about having 3 young kids... it's hard!

Batman Party for the 4 year old.

Minnie Mouse Party for the 2 year old.

First of all, I am so embarrassed at how long it has taken me to write another post.  This whole three kids thing is NO JOKE!  Anytime you see a Mom juggling three small children acting like its no big deal- She's lying! If there is one thing I can't stand in life- it's when Mom's don't admit to how hard parenthood can be.  It doesn't make you a bad parent or mean you don't love your kids if you come out and tell the truth that it can be complete chaos.  Mom's need to stick together,  even commiserate every so often.  Its good for the soul:) With that rant out of the way, here is whats happening in my life.  Its not all rainbows and butterflies but as crazy as it is, its our life and we are figuring it out.  So much to update and some pictures to share.  First of all, we have had some birthdays.  Carter turned "4" on May 30 and Miss Paige was "2" on June 21.  

New Cinderella Bike

All business about these presents.

My kids are just like their Mama and they LOVE to get some presents.  Paige was so excited she couldn't speak and  Carter was so excited he was squealing. I must say, I can't blame them.


The two "big" kids have been doing pretty well adjusting to their new baby brother.  Carter loves him so much and is always keeping tabs on him and letting me know when I didn't burp him well enough and reminding me constantly that if I would have done it right the baby wouldn't have thrown up.  It's always nice to have a four year old tell you how to parent.  Paige's entire day is consumed with gathering paci's and blankies and following me around the house with them so she can care for HER baby.  Apparently she owns Easton.  My sweet, princess Paige is turning into a little terror.  Do not be fooled by the golden locks of curls, bright blue eyes and winning smile.  This girl can tear a house up!  She is sassy, smart, adorable, such-a-typical-2-year-old, and maybe more than a tiny bit naughty (gasp!)  Right now her favorite thing to do is take off her diaper and leave it in random places around my house.  Why don't I potty train her you may ask?  Allow me to share, I can hardly find time to get to the bathroom myself, my baby cries a lot and doesn't sleep, my kids attempt to antagonize each other at every waking second and basically I'm too tired!  Sorry, its the truth.  Other than that- things are smooth sailing:)  No really, its not that bad.  Well, maybe a little bad but definitely not terrible.  


Matt and I have been looking for something to do in the summer.  We love the sun and hate being stuck in the house when its nice out.  We decided to buy a pontoon to keep on Lake Fenton.  We have only been out three times and already think its probably the best purchase ever made.  Carter and Paige love swimming and Carter even met up with his friend on he lake and went tubing.  (What is he, 14?)  

Snoozing in his SPF 50 tent.  Yes, he also has a fan.

Why am I wearing this hat??

Easton has been doing well.  He is a tricky baby.  Shocking, I know.  He isn't much of a sleeper and he likes to holler at us.  To be honest it makes me kind of sad.  I literally try so hard to make him happy and sometimes it just doesn't work.  Carter and Paige were good babies.  Slept well and not very fussy.   He is a different story.  I know he has been through so much but I'm hoping he comes around soon as starts to enjoy us.  I just keep telling him that I love him even if he is bitter:)  His breathing has improved dramatically.  He seems much more comfortable and it doesn't seem to be such an effort anymore.  Our latest concern is his weight.  He is 8 weeks old and only weighs 7 1/2 pounds.  He only gained 6 ounces in the last 3 weeks and he should be gaining 5-8 ounces per week.  The most concerning part is that he eats all the time.  We have a couple new strategies we are trying out and will see the doctor next Wednesday and hope to see some improvement.  Regardless of all the issues, he is my little man and I think he is way too cute!  Everyday I count my blessings to have him in my home.  I still can't believe everything that happened to him and I will never take for granted the miracle of his life.


I was able to write this post because of a small miracle happening in my house.  All three kids napping at once.  That miracle is now over.  I must tend to my favorite little people.