Saturday, October 22, 2011

Pay it Forward



5 months, baby!
Thursday night was a great night for the Clark family.  We were able to be a part of a benefit that the Hurley Foundation put on.  I worked really hard at raising funds and encouraging my family and friends to attend and it paid off.  I'm impressed with the number that I am personally responsible for raising and it makes my heart feel good.  Two days prior to this event, I received a phone call asking if I would do the welcome speech and host the evening.  My first thought, even though I am not a public speaker, (and after the typical "What will I wear?",) was of course.  The first thing I did after that phone call was write the speech.  The second was drive to Somerset.  Pretty typical.  I was actually nervous leading up to the night but once it arrived I just told myself that this is all for my boy and the nerves just left me entirely.  I can do anything on his behalf.  Let's be honest- after what he has already put me through, everything else is pretty much cake;)  There was about 160 people there and 5 out of the 6 NICU doctors were in attendance because someone had to stay with all the babies!  It was so nice to see them all and I had the opportunity to publicly thank them.  I will probably continue to thank them every time I see them for the rest of my life.  I just want to make sure they get the point!  In all seriousness, its still not enough.  I remember thinking that if God and these doctors could save my baby, that I would spend the rest of my life trying to pay it forward.  This benefit was my first attempt.  Nothing seems like enough.  I can't stop these babies from getting sick, I can't heal them once they do become sick, I feel helpless.  The only thing I can do is to try and contribute to the needs of those who work in the NICU so that they can continue to do their job.  I am so lucky to have the family I have.  Everyone has rallied for us in the biggest way possible and they still feel like they want to give back as well on behalf of their grandson and nephew.  We have come up with a tentative idea of how we feel we can do our part.  We are planning on doing something annually in Easton's name to raise money for the needs of Hurley's NICU.  I will talk to the doctors and nurses and find out what the need is for that year and we will set a goal and try our hardest to reach it.  We are creative people and I know we can come up with fun events that people will actually look forward to attending.  I would love to do this each year around Easton's birthday or discharge date to celebrate.  You never know when you may need the assistance of the NICU.  I spent a week there 30 years ago, my nephew Jagger spent only two days there in March but it was still totally necessary and then they saved Easy's life in May and June.  Its time this family gives back and that is what we intend to do.  I hope that each person that reads this blog will help us to celebrate and raise funds in the years to come!



 A little Easton update for the Team Easton fan club:
Easton is still keeping us on our toes at all times.  He really is super smiley and sweet.  He does know what he likes and doesn't like and has no problem whatsoever in letting us all know.  Matt and I had been feeling like Easton is a little delayed in his development for quite some time now.  He just doesn't seem to have much strength and does not act like a 5 month old.  This isn't too surprising considering he was 4 weeks early and then the next 4 weeks he couldn't even move!  I decided to be proactive and had him evaluated by Early On.  They came out and spent some time with him and agreed that he is a bit behind in his gross motor skills.  They were very helpful in giving us the insight on how to help him build strength and set goals for him to reach.  Easton is very busy practicing his stuff so he gets great marks and new goals in November!  


Easton also has been sick the past week.  It started with an ear infection and a sinus infection.  Next thing we know he has a terrible cough and is wheezing.  He started breathing treatments and a new antibiotic.  Several days later he doesn't seem any better.  Chest X-ray showed some fluid in his lungs so we switch his medication again.  It's unclear if it is pneumonia or if he is starting to have some issues with Asthma.  Its all complicated to me but the bottom line is he has been under the weather and if you want to say a little prayer for him- we'd love it:)


Busy week ahead.  I am telling you there is NEVER a dull moment.  We are having family pictures tomorrow which I'm sure will be so eventful that I could write a whole post on that experience.  I'm sweating just thinking about this...  It's gonna be intense.


I'm looking forward to Halloween so I can eat all my kids candy dress the kids up!  This year we will have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, the cutest little Piggy you will ever see and a Monkey!
#1, #2 and #3


So Stinkin' Cute

Monday, October 3, 2011

God's Presence


I was asked by our Pastor to write a 600 word essay for the Advent Devotional Book about a time when I felt God's presence.  I think we all know when that was.  Here is the essay:


My third son, Easton Edward Clark, was born on May 18, 2011.  Shortly after he was born, he had difficulty breathing and was admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  We had no idea how that admission would change our lives forever.  Easton’s condition rapidly deteriorated within 48 hours.  He went from a non critical diagnosis of “wet lungs” to a life threatening condition overnight.  He had Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension in Newborns (PPHN.)  This condition is not very common- only about 1 in 1,000 and has a high mortality rate.  My little boy looked more like a science experiment than a newborn baby.  He had IV’s, central lines, a feeding tube, was on a ventilator, had a chest tube, a pic line, and other monitors all in an attempt to save his little life.  His six pound body looked lifeless as his Dad and I stood vigil next to his incubator.  Looking at him, I knew there was no way he could recover from the severity of his illness.  Each day the results of his tests got worse and my hope dwindled.  I even started thinking of funeral homes and what I would bury him in.  The absolute worse thoughts you can have as a mother. The doctors were doing their best but told us we needed to pray.  These highly skilled doctors were humble enough to tell us that his fate wasn’t in their hands but in God’s hands.  And pray we did.  My first call was to Pastor Jeremy to help us.  We were desperate and I felt we needed a closer connection to God.  He graciously came to pray with us at Easton’s bedside.  It was in that moment that I first felt like God was watching.  The air in the room felt a little lighter.  In that brief moment of a glimmer of hope, I took that opportunity to change my action.  Instead of planning a funeral, I talked to God. All day.  I stood by the window and looked at the sky and prayed for my baby.  I stood next to the incubator looking at a baby I wasn’t able to touch and prayed for my baby.  In the next couple of weeks when we would almost lose him and were forced to helplessly stand by and watch doctors work so hard on him, I prayed for my baby.  I prayed for God to guide the doctors in the right direction and to give everyone the skills to take care of him. I even begged God to save my baby.  These days were dark.  They were paralyzing but I know in my heart that when I spoke to God,  he heard me.  The air would again get lighter.  I could feel him and I knew I needed to keep talking. We reached out to everyone we knew and asked for prayers for our son and guess what?  God proved he was with us and started answering them. Blood tests would improve, the ventilation settings were lowered, he was even allowed to wake up.  There were so many setbacks and bumps in the road but I know how sick Easton was and I also know that the only reason that baby is alive today is because God saved him.  He was on the brink of death too many times to end up perfectly well without some kind of divine intervention.  We thank you God, for hearing our prayers.

We are so grateful to have Easton in our family and we will do everything in our power as parents to care for him and help him to lead a purposeful life.  He will always know the meaning of gratitude and the importance of God everlasting.