Thursday, June 23, 2011

Let the real madness begin...

We are home.  All of us.  Clark, Party of Five is under one roof.  Thank you, God.  Easton was discharged on his actual due date after four long, agonizing weeks.  We couldn't be happier to have him home.  He is doing really well.  He is eating great and his breathing has improved tremendously.  He is still a tiny guy weighing 7lbs at 5 weeks but I have a feeling that will change in no time at all.  We have scheduled his baptism on his Daddy's Birthday so it should be a great day all around.


Birthday Girl
Big Brother
A little bare butt and a lot of screaming:)
Three kids under four.  Sounded like a good idea at the time...and it still is!  It is madness!  We have only been doing it for a week and it is an adventure.  I actually like the challenge of parenthood.  I like to own the responsibility and figure it out.  Its not something you can plan.  There are no time tables and schedules are a joke.  We eat breakfast in the morning, nap after lunch, dinner when Matt gets home from work, bed before 10:00 if we are lucky.  It doesn't get more specific than that.  I am all about loose planning right now.  Carter is four and so grown up all of a sudden.  He is so cute and sooo in love with his baby brother.  Paige Ruby just had her 2nd birthday and she is as sassy as she is cute!  Easton is finding his spot in this clan.  He likes to holler at us often but I personally think he is just trying to show off his improved lung function so I am perfectly OK with it.



Right now we are a little confined to our house.  Easton is starting to improve but has a hard time breathing fabulously in the car seat if in it for too long.  (Can I just add that if you all remember correctly I was confined to the house for 105 days on bed rest and now I'm stuck again.  Am I really that dangerous to society if left out of my house? I'm beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be getting a hint here!)  Anyways, we are so looking forward to summer.  It was a long winter with Mama in bed and  besides it was super cold so not much fun for the kids.  We would love to go up north for the 4th of July and I keep asking Easton if he thinks he will be able to get it together by then so we can go.  He is undecided at this point but I will keep on him.  I believe he will rally.  I mean, this kid rocks.  I have the rest of the summer off for my official maternity leave (even though I haven't worked all year, Thanks Mom!) and am looking forward to watching Carter race around on his scooter, Paigey ride her new princess bike, Easton sleeping in my arms, and some awesome neighbors to take it all in with.   Let's talk about these neighbors.  They couldn't be any more awesome if they tried.  This whole experience from pregnancy to NICU, they have supported us in every way possible.  They visited us, made us meals, plowed our driveway, let our dog out, had a shower for me, bought gifts, prayed and loved us thru it all.  And to think, we only met a year ago.  I was drawn to this street when we were looking for a house.  I had to live here.  Now I know why.


Neighbors chalking a Welcome Home sign.


Neighbor kids and the finished product.

So that's it.  I think I am going to leave this post as is.  It's pretty uneventful and normal.  Nothing scary, no drama.  Just life.  I like it.  We have newborn pictures for Easton this weekend and a Minnie Mouse party for our two year old.  I'll be sure to post pictures next week.  Thanks again for all of your prayers and continued support.  We are forever grateful.

Whatever happens, keep my paci in my mouth.  Please.

Reading books.  Yes, I know Paige is wearing
mismatched boy pajamas.  She wanted to.
I'm trying REALLY hard to be OK with it;)

Saturday, June 11, 2011

24 days and counting...

It has been 24 days since Easton entered the world and changed life as we know it. There is an expectation that goes along with having a baby.  You expect labor to hurt and you expect to be exhausted after but its all OK because you also expect you will have a perfectly healthy baby as a result.  Being a third time Mom, I was really blown away that this experience wasn't like the last two.  I knew the pregnancy was difficult but I had made it to the "safe"point.  So instead of worrying about the baby being healthy, I worried about what to pack in the diaper bag.  How many blankets should I bring?  How many options do I need for  his coming home outfit.  Should I bring my own pacifiers?  You know, REALLY important stuff.  I'm still trying to process this unexpected experience.  Actually, I'm still trying to figure out if this is really happening or if I am going to wake up soon and realize it was just a dream.  It's a lot to absorb.  But so worth it when you see how far he has come.  
From This:




 



To This..
First time holding off the ventilator!



Attempting to eat.

Strongest boy you will ever know.


They say motherhood is the hardest job in the world.  I used to agree with this statement to a certain extent.  I mean, its hard but it also just becomes your life so you get used to it.  It has great rewards so it always seems worth it at the end of the day.  This journey as Easton's mother is like the ultimate "Mother-Load!"  He has only been here for 24 days but he has moved me, scared me, challenged me, taught me, inspired me, forever changed me, and made me more of a believer in the Lord above than ever before.  I'm forever changed.  I could have gone my whole life without this experience, trust me on that, and been fulfilled but I wouldn't understand the concept of gratitude or ever know the fierceness of a Mother's fight like I do now.  My whole family will be better because of this.  This journey is not over and our boy is still sick but I know I can handle whatever comes my way next.  I will admit I am a little nervous to bring him home.  I'm not sure just how fragile he will be.  I don't have experience with a sick baby but the one thing I know- I'm up for the challenge.  I will learn everything I can about him, protect him, trust my instincts and love him with everything I have.  I pray this will be enough and if it's not- I will find a way to do more.  I'm so glad I get to be his Mom because he is one special boy with a strong will for life.  Raising him should be quite the adventure and I can't wait for it.

I've been thinking a lot about the word GRATITUDE:  a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.  This is my new favorite word.  However, it doesn't even come close to describing how I feel about the Neonatologists, Nurses, and Respiratory Therapists at Hurley's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  How am I supposed to thank these people or express my gratitude for saving my son's life?  So many times he was slipping away and they found a way to save him.  When one course of treatment didn't work, they would all put their heads together and come up with something else.  The nurses stayed late, Dr. Rahman (director of the NICU who took over Easton's care) was there on his days off.  These people didn't give up on Easton.  Everybody did their part and more than that- they cared.  They cared that this little boy have a shot at life.  They didn't give up on him because he was a difficult case.  They could have shipped him out to another facility when he wasn't responding to treatment but they knew he wouldn't make the flight so they worked harder.  They SAVED MY BABY.  How in the world do I thank them?  What words could I possibly say?  I'm stuck on this.  I have to do something.  I have to get the point across but I can't even explain it to myself what I feel for them.  I've never had such respect for a group of people in my life.  I will forever be trying to express my gratitude but in the meantime, I will just keep repeating myself with thanks. 

I could write for days about all the things floating around in my head.  I probably will write several more posts about this because this is my life.  I feel like this is the kind of thing you read about or hear about and can't imagine it- but this is my reality.  This is my life and as soon as I am home for more than 2 hours a day at a time- I'm going to have a lot to deal with.  As I work my way thru this- I'm sure you will all be around for the ride because this blog is a great outlet for me.  I'm tired and I have another long day ahead of me so this is all I have for tonight.  Please keep praying for little Easton's body to continue to heal and for him to have the energy to eat. Thank you to all of the TEAM EASTON supporter's for rockin' your bracelets no matter what outfit you are wearing;)


One more thing... Let's not forget about these guys because they are the ultimate troopers and they are missing their Mama and Daddy:

**I promise to keep up on the blog better once I have my whole family under one roof**