Thursday, August 11, 2011

For the Mommies...

This post is for the Mommies of little ones.  I said this blog would be about what was happening in my life and THIS is happening in my life.  I know many people wont relate but just as many will.  This issue of breast feeding has been bugging me lately.

To breast feed or not? What the heck is with this stigma attached to breast feeding these days?  Four years ago when I had Carter, I chose to nurse him because I wanted the bonding experience and I felt it was best for him.  Same with Paige.  That was it.  I wasn't aware of any stigma about it and I never really even considered anybody else's feelings about it.  My kid, my body, my milk, my business.  Right?  Wrong!  Lately it seems like people raise an eyebrow if you don't breast feed your baby.  Wait- lets back up.  Why is one of the first questions out of peoples mouths when you have a baby, "Are you nursing?"  How does this affect anyone else's life except to pass judgement?  You cannot tell me that some of my friends who use formula love their kids less than I love mine.  I just don't buy into that.  I also don't think that they want less for their kids than I do.  It's a personal choice shaped by many reasons and situations.  If you have read my blog before- you know I am an open book.  I will tell you just about anything because I don't believe in hiding your experiences.  In fact, I think its beneficial.  Here is my situation and why this topic is prevalent.  I'm not a new Mom.  Easton is my third baby and also the third baby I have chose to breast feed.  This situation is so different this time.  For one, Easton wasn't fed any milk until he was almost 3 weeks old because he was so sick which meant I just had to pump around the clock to even keep my milk coming.  All you Mom's who pump know what a joy that was!  Now we are home and he isn't a great eater.  It is a major struggle.  He isn't great at the bottle and I'm not able to nurse him at all anymore because it is too much effort and he won't take more than an ounce from me before falling asleep.  I figured this out the hard way by taking him to the doctor and finding he wasn't gaining any weight.  He is still very small for his age and gaining!  (He weighs at 12 weeks what my other two weighed at 4 weeks.)  That said, I have to pump every meal.  Might not seem like a big deal but in my world it is.  I have Paige.  Paige enjoys taking off her clothes and going outside while I pump.  She also enjoys dumping cereal on the floor or demanding she's "firsty" the moment I sit down.  I can't exactly stop pumping once I start to re-dress her, get her a drink and clean up the cereal.  This causes chaos with Carter.  He tries to do these things for me and the next thing I know I have two fighting kids and a screaming/hungry baby all while I'm trying to take the 10 minutes to pump then next bottle.  I'm exhausted just thinking about this and it happens...5 times a day:)  Then there is the car pumping.  No, I don't pump and drive- although I have considered it. I like to pump while Matt drives because it's a time saver.  We have to be in the car and that is useless time so I might as well make it useful and make a bottle.  Matt thinks this is nuts.  He is getting better about it now but still looks at me like I may have lost my mind!  The next issue is that I am pretty thin from all the stress and could probably benefit from not giving him all my calories...which doesn't seem to be bulking him up anyway!  Then there is the immunity factor.  Easton needs the antibodies from me to help him fight off infection and stay healthy.  Umm- being strictly breast fed he still ended up in the hospital from a virus nobody I even know had.  My antibodies apparently suck.  Are you getting my point?  It's that there are circumstances in people life that shape their decision.  Please don't judge them.  Being a Mom is hard enough- we all do our best and don't need anybody else's opinion (unless asked) to make it more difficult.

As for me, I am still nursing pumping and bottle feeding all but one feeding a day which I supplement with a high calorie, high protein formula to help plump him up.  However,  I'm thinking about stopping (gasp!)  I have 150 bags of frozen milk to use up and then I plan to switch to only NeoSure which is the formula recommended for him.  I may stop tomorrow, next week, next month, or in 9 months.  The guilt I have about stopping is my own issue.  Fortunately I am pretty confident in my parenting decisions and will ultimately do what I feel is best for my family and myself.  Some people have a harder time or are less secure in their decisions so lets all cut a little slack and try to give new Mom's a break!  Lets support what is best for each person as opposed to what society THINKS is best.  

For the record:  I 100% encourage breast feeding but I also support formula...with no judgement!

Moving on...  Life at the Clark's is still nuts.  It's getting easier all the time but its still nuts.  Sleep is super rare in this house.  Easton has no consistency.  Two nights ago he got up once and last night four times.  No rhyme or reason.  It's just Easton and we all know by now that Easton marches to his own drum!  So last night...Easton got up four times then Paige wakes up crying and comes in my bed.  The crying woke up Carter so he came in.  Pretty awesome night getting up 6 times in my whole 7 hours of being in bed!  Matt tried to tell me that one day I will look back and wish I was still getting up with babies.  Matt is wrong.  There are a lot of things I will miss about these times but never in a million years will it be giving up my beauty sleep!  
All Clean!

Shaving Cream Fun at School
Paige is the cutest thing I have ever seen.  She is also the sassiest.  I want to punish her and I do put her in timeout but I gotta admit- I like her style.  A little sweet, a lot of sass, a bit innocent and enough guts to stand up for herself at all times.  She is talking like crazy and likes to tell jokes.  Unfortunately, her punch line is always "Betause."  She may need some new jokes but her delivery will make you smile anyway.

Carter is growing up.  Its sad.  He likes to say things to me like, "You know I will be 14 one day, right?"  Really?  No doubt.  He knows how to rub it in.  Even though he is the oldest and can be rather moody, I think he is the sweetest.  He loves me so much.  I can't get enough of that and all the sweet things he says.  For example, "Mom, you look like an angel today."  Love him!

Easton is actually doing pretty good.  Besides the whole hating to eat issue- he has been so much better.  He is acting like a real baby.  Finally.  He loves to lay on the floor and kick and cannot get enough of looking at himself in the mirror.  He knows he has got the looks and he has no issue admiring himself.  He is growing slowly but at least he is growing.  He seems more comfortable lately and I just love him to pieces.  He also has the smile down pat!

Lazy Day

12 weeks, baby.

No comments:

Post a Comment