Friday, September 2, 2011

We made it.

I think we made it.  It was one year ago this month that I became pregnant with Easton and we had no idea how our lives were about to change.  Finding out you are pregnant with your third baby is exciting but you also have a sense of knowing what is to come.  You've been there before, not just once but twice.  You know the drill.  From the get-go, this was one was different.  For starters, we didn't even have to "try" to get pregnant like in the past so we just figured this baby just really wanted to be here.  Well, thats what we thought once we finally confirmed the pregnancy.  Two positive preganancy tests and two negative tests in the same day was a little odd annoying.  I'm not much for waiting but of course I had to wait a week to go get a blood test to have the levels be really low and in turn wait another week to repeat.  Awesome start!  I knew I would have to do bed rest with this pregnancy because I had with the other two as well.  Matt and I were both OK with it because it was just what it took for us to have a family.  Everybody has their struggles and this was ours but worth it in the end.  Never in a million years did I think I would start contracting at 19 weeks!  Thats not even a viable point and not even half way thru the pregnancy.  It was January 15 and I was due June 15... it seemed impossible.  But it wasn't.  We did it.  I did my part by following doctors orders and did a pretty good job not going insane and keeping my spirits up while Super Dad took excellent care of the kids, me, and the house.  After all the ups and downs, scary days and hospitalizations- we finally hit the 36 week mark and knew we had succeeded.  The madness was over and life would hit a new norm.  WRONG!  The labor and delivery was perfect and quick.  I never broke a sweat and still had makeup on and my hair looked (relatively) good for the post delivery pictures which is obviously critical.  Pictures last forever...
Clearly, we had no idea that the whole pregnancy was actually cake in comparison to what we were about to endure.  You've all read the story and followed his journey and I continue to be forever grateful for all of the support.  As his Mom, I'm not over it yet.  It's not old news to me.  I continue to lose sleep and be haunted by the experience on a daily basis.  I can't look at him and not think about what he has been through.  All children are special- I believe that.  I love Carter and Paige with my whole heart and being.  They are my babies and they were meant for me and I was meant for them.  Easton feels a little different.  At the risk of sounding crazy (which I may be,) I think he was sent from above for a reason.  He is here to make a difference.  I just cannot imagine that he survived his first month of life without a purpose.  I cannot wait to follow him through life and see just what he has to offer.  Trust me- he is going places.

When I say "we made it," I really think the worst is over.  I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel for so long.  Once he came home from the hospital we were always scared.  Worried if he was OK.  It didn't help the adjustment that he screamed all the time, couldn't eat or gain weight, and didn't sleep a wink!  It's so different now.  He still isn't the greatest eater and he doesn't sleep thru the night but he is happy.  He has a smile for just about everyone and he melts my heart every time he looks me in the eye.  He is gaining weight and so much more content.  In fact, he is a great baby.  I'm not delusional and I do anticipate a rough winter because he does live with Paige- and she has yet to make it a winter without RSV and breathing treatments.  I hope and pray everyday that his lungs are greatly improved and he will tolerate sickness better than the last time.  The biggest difference is that we aren't living in fear.  We are enjoying him and I think that has to mean that we made it.
Our fighter
Scary Days

Miracle Man
Happy Days

Thank you God, for giving me this little boy.

Disney World post coming soon... 

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