Wednesday, March 29, 2017

The Good Stuff

My mind is so busy. It's like a highway with a car driving the wrong way coming straight at you, and I'm that car. The crazy one going the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, it's been a lot busier in past years but that's about how it feels today. The medicated me is still the car coming straight at you- the wrong way. You know what? I'm borderline to partially OK with it. Here's why: it means it's still me. I'm not overmedicated roaming around life in a fog or high with my head in the clouds and not a care in the world. I'm still basically a wrecking ball but with the ability to think and take control of my feelings and decide what to do with them versus them deciding what to do with me. It's basically a win. Sorta. Well, for me- huge win.
Life is constantly changing around me. The people I interact with, the places I go, the activities I engage in. It's almost like an adventure- God only knows what I'm up to next. I feel like lately I'm figuring some stuff out. Let's not get carried away- there's about a lifetime times 12 left of the things I'll never come close to figuring out but that being said- here's some of what I'm noticing. Lets hope I can explain it....
Allow me to start by saying that I feel like
Money is imperative. I like it. I want a lot of it. It's necessary for living and let's be honest here- I want a lot of things. I do. I like to have a lot and I want a lot. I'm a tad spoiled and sadly (I think) I don't really know any other way. Here's where it gets interesting: I'm finding that all the things that are feeding my soul and filling my cup are .... wait for it....FREE!. They cost me nothing and I make nothing. They are FREE in every sense of the word. Here's what I mean:
Team Easton Gives Back. This is about raising money to give back. An act of gratitude and attempting to do the right thing. I make not one single cent. I actually donate a lot of my time and money to make it happen. It's stressful to pull off, more work than you can imagine and yet, when it's all over and that total comes in- there is no better feeling. My heart wants to explode. I'm honored, proud and so incredibly grateful to see a community and friends come together to help give back. It makes me feel good.
Volunteering in the NICU. It's 16 hours a month. I make not a cent. I hold, love, connect and bond with newborn babies that would be sitting alone in an isolette or crib if I wasn't there at that moment. I have no idea why their own Mom isn't present and it's not my business- but I will be that substitute Mom and love as hard as I can for the time I have to give. It fills me up. It makes me feel good.
Serving on Hurley Foundation Board. I do not make a single penny. I believe in Hurley Medical Center. I believe in what they stand for, their standard of care, their mission and all those humans that work inside that establishment. I believe in them. Serving on the Board allows me to be involved in that Team. It allows me to be a part of decision making and brainstorming and executing. It makes me feel like I have a voice. It involves me with people I respect and guess what? It makes me feel good.
Kids activities. Showing up to watch my sons and daughter play sports isn't exactly like a trip to Somerset. It's better. Sure, it's annoying being a chauffeur day in and day out running to practices and having no time for much else. But, man. To sit in the stands and watch your kids put themselves out there for everyone to see is so exciting. When they score a goal and look in the stands to make sure you are proud, or when they nail their dance at the competition and your the only face in the crowd they see, or when they even have a rough game and they look at you to make sure they are ok... this is where it's at. Those feelings I get from just being their person out in the crowd- it fills me up. It reminds me of my purpose. And, it makes me feel good.
Fitness. This one is a little iffy on costing anything because I do pay a trainer. However, what I get from it is not about that. When I have that hour a day of pushing myself to my absolute physical limit, when I don't think I can do one more rep or increase the weight and I look directly into (one of the 50,000) mirrors and into my own eyes- the determination and fire I see in myself... is priceless. And, take a guess? It makes me feel so good.
I want to make sure you all know that I really own like to carry a Louis Vuitton purse. I only shop in boutique stores or lululemon. I've got an addiction to No Bull shoes and my finger nails must have fresh shellac. Often. Here's what I'm trying to say. I like all those "things" but I promise you with all my heart that none of those "things" actually fill me up. They make me feel good in the moment but you better believe they aren't what I think about when my head hits the pillow. And that's where all the truths live- with your head on your pillow at night. We can all try to be things we aren't or fill ourselves up in the wrong ways- but when your head hits the pillow- truth lives. Always.
Try it out. I don't think I'm insane, I know it. However, I think I'm on to something. What if we all tried to be better people? What if we all worked on filling our own cups instead of emptying them on life? I challenge you to sign up for one thing today- that serves one purpose: to make you feel good and that you get no monetary reimbursement for.
Let's just all try.
Fill 'em up!

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