Ebb and flow: a decline and increase, constant fluctuations.
Yup, that sums up our life. I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain what this crazy whirlwind life feels like. There are ups, there are downs, but fortunately there always IS. Something is always happening, changing, shifting… Dude, it’s the ebb and flow. Its how we operate. How we exist. How life just happens. Sometimes it feels like a roller coaster and sometimes its smooth sailing. In the end, I will strive to remain grateful for the fact that I’m here to experience it all.
We are figuring it out. We, meaning Matt and I. For the last few months we have been just trying to “wing it.” We aren’t the biggest planners in the world. We plan the big stuff but the day to day we were just trying to go with it. Guess what? It wasn’t going. Nothing was getting accomplished. At the end of the day we would realize that we may have survived the chaos but nothing really happened. It was time for some action. We got out the calendars and started planning everything out. We have our workout days planned, we know who is cooking dinner on which day, every appointment for our kids is scheduled and we know who is taking care of which one. It feels good. I never thought I would like to have to check a calendar to see how my day would pan out but I have to admit that a little bit of structure and predictability after the year we have had- feels fabulous! Obviously things run off course and things get bumped but overall we are trying to stick to the plan. We shall see how long it lasts;) You know that saying: We may not have it all together; but together we have it all. That’s us. We’re the best team and I sure am glad he picked me.
I recently read a really great blog from the Huffington Post. It was a woman telling it like it is. She was talking about people expecting you to enjoy every moment of raising kids because they grow too quickly. It was the best blog that I’ve ever read because there is nothing I like more than honesty in parenting. I’m not sure why some people are not honest when it comes to this subject. It’s hard. I don’t care who you are or how many kids you have- at some point it has been hard. My opinion is that we as parents should band together and talk each other through it. We need to make each other feel less alone. Let’s discuss the fact that my daughter drew with Chap Stick all over my car window on the way to school today. Or about the fact that my 8 month old refuses to sleep through the night more than two days in a row. Or possibly that my oldest son had a complete and total meltdown for over 20 minutes because I told him he couldn’t have chicken for dinner for the 107th day in a row. This all happened in the last 18 hours. I mean, I cannot be the only one living this “dream.” Yes, I love my kids. Yes, I would give up everything in the world for them. Yes, I feel blessed to have them. Yes, every decision I make from the day they were born until the day I die revolves around how it affects their life. All that said- it doesn’t change the fact that I would do just about anything for a few days on the beach somewhere tropical while they are home in a Grandparents care. Does that make me a bad Mom? Does that mean I don’t count my blessings daily? Absolutely not. It makes me human. It makes me honest. I do my best. At the end of the day that’s what I have to live with. My kids are happy, my husband is happy and so am I. Ebb and flow… keepin’ it real.