Saturday, January 11, 2014

Parenting… and the never ending break.

It's been a while.  Tis the season it was for falling behind…thats what I am blaming it on at least.  

I'd like to start this blog out by saying that I notice my children.  I study them and I memorize bits and pieces of what they look like at this very second and who they are today.  For example, Paige has the most perfect, porcelain doll nose I have ever seen.  
On some days her bed head in the morning looks better than any blow-dry you could ever pay for (some days not,) and the way she talks when she is really into a story by making up details you know aren't true but you can't correct her because she is too darn cute and her voice….ahhh, so  sweet.  I also will never forget how she can make my blood boil like no other human in the world.  That spunk… she may have a 1/2 dose more than she needs!  Then there is Carter.  I can picture his tiny little teeth that seem like are never going to get loose.  He is like my little golden boy- you cannot get more handsome than him.  The love notes he leaves me and the way he spells big words he has never used before… I can't even deal.  Its like heaven.
 He loves me in a way the others don't.   I'm not saying they don't love me- but Carter is so sensitive to me and he makes sure I know he's my boy.  But, oh how I wished over break that he would stop tackling his siblings.  And, why does he have to be the worst sport in America if we try to play a game with him?  And, it would be cool if he could eat dinner in under an hour!  Lastly, my Easy.  
Whom there happens to be nothing easy about.  He has the cutest little chip in his from tooth that defines his personality perfectly.  His eyes are like looking into my own and the redness that develops in his checks during the winter months… I can hardly refrain from eating him up.  When I look at him every day of my life, I am reminded of a miracle.  It NEVER leaves me.  I still can't believe he is here and quite frankly, I'm not sure how he is.  That being said, he really doesn't need to wake me up 5 times a night because I already tell him during the day I am grateful for him.  The weird obsession with thinking I am actually going to give him 50 cups of milk a day when I have never given him more than three, could stop any day.  Those tantrums that he likes to throw every time he doesn't get what he wants, well, they are just embarrassing and we are over it.  

I love my children more than anything in the universe.  I know I am here in this world to raise them and I will not let them down.  I will guide them, love them, care for them and try to release them into the world to do great things.  However, that Christmas break did not need to be SOOOO long.  I feared we would never return to normalcy and I nearly lost my marbles.

I love to read FB posts about how awesome everyones kids are.  Of course they are, so are mine!  That doesn't mean they aren't super annoying too! Or, my favorite is how people were excited to have a  few more days home with their kids.  Really?  That is 100% cool for you.  Hopefully, you are serious and not just stating it on FB so the world knows you are the most awesome Mom ever to live.  Here is why:  Personally, I'm pretty confindent in my Mommy-ness.  I think I have got this down.  I try to make them eat healthy, I have a ban on fruit snacks and very rarely give in to fast food.  My kids have very appropriate bed times that I stick too.  I annoy them every day of their life about teeth brushing and "screen time," I make them use their manners, they clear there plates from the table without being asked.  Oh, and I was so domestic that I made snow ice cream with them on the Snow Day. So there, I rock too.  But, guess what.  I also yell at them.  I don't yell because I am proud of it.  I yell because I have had all of their hearing checked and yet they claim they can't hear me half of the time, and the other half… they just ignore me.  It's ridiculously annoying.  You know what else I do, I look at my phone too much.  I'm working on that one.  I can keep myself from looking at FB when they are next to me but if a text goes off or the phone rings, you would think a fire alarm just sounded in my house.  Like, I said- I'm working on it.   Here is another.  Some days I actually count the hours until bedtime.  This is not because I don't love them and don't want to see them but rather because they are exhausting creatures.  Perhaps not having all three of these angels in under four years would have been better planning but not much I can do about that now.  Don't worry, friends.  Once they are asleep, I kiss them all before I go to bed and again in the middle of the night.  See, I'm a good Mom.  Even if I like it when my kids are finally quiet for five minutes of my life.

The pressure of being a Mom is outrageous these days.  I'm a huge fan of social media but I do think its part of the pressure.  While its very cool to have these venues for people to connect with others, it allows for the sharing of a lot of opinions.  Some not always wanted.  (Have you ever seen my husbands FB posts?  Holy Moly.)  For me, I love Facebook.  I like it because it is such an easy way to be connected. I love seeing pictures of my friends kids from college or hearing someone is getting married.  I love to know when a friends niece needs prayers or when someone passed away.  It keeps me in the loop.  I'm nosey and the loop is where I like to be.  I'm not really someone who is influenced very easily.  I'm hard headed and I have my own way of thinking.  That doesn't mean it is right, it just means that I think it is and good luck trying to convince me otherwise.  Parents, please don't compare yourself to all the Do-gooders you read about.  We only know what people put out there.  We don't know what happened after you posted your picture of being the craftiest Mom alive on a snowy day and we don't know what you fed your kids for dinner.  It. Doesn't. Matter.  Do they best YOU can do for your kids.  Some days you will suck.  It happens.  Move on and try to suck less the next day.  My goal is raise kids who feel secure and loved and have a little confidence.  In my home, you aren't getting any Martha Stewart-y business and I may  will yell at you if you act like a fool.  But, you can bet your ass I'd go to bat for any of my kids, any day of the week.   Yes, they also hear a few swear words but,  I love them more than they (or you) will ever know.   Let's just try to keep it real, shall we?  Amen.

Now that I am done preaching, here are some pictures of the Fam.  
They steal my space.


Because, you love it.

Paige Ruby Clark

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